When I was a little girl, there was no such thing as "planning ahead". The furthest ahead we could think was dinner. After all, someone needs to get off their AUTH and go skin that rabbit! Paulie is the one who killed it, as usual, and he's best at it, but I know he just wants to see if someone else will do it.. He's right, everyone else needs to pitch in too. Andrew is making the fire, Elaine made the dough for the cemait and I was the one in charge of stirring the beans all day. Our oldest brother, George is off somewhere, listening to a walk-man, pretending he can't hear us calling him. Paulie, just go skin it. I'll get the big bowl for you.
When I was a little older, we planned and planned. But there was never any money, so we just kept planning.
When I was in high school, there were plans and maybe there was even some money. It was so surprising though, we'd forget about the plans and just use the money.
But, we were so close we could taste it.
When I was a new mom I planned from from the moment I woke up in the morning to the moment I went to sleep. I even planned which dreams I wanted to dream, like picking a television show on cable TV. I planned on taking two extra outfits for each kid, ten extra diapers than I thought I would need. I packed band-aids, an extra toy, the thermometer, a back-up thermometer in case the first one didn't work, tylenol because the baby is teething, wipes, an extra pair of shoes, even though the baby didn't walk yet and six bibs. It felt great to plan ahead. I felt like I could plan the rest of our lives. What I didn't plan on was picking up soggy diapers and street-blackened clothes from the gutter, after the diaper bag was accidentally left on the roof of the car.
Now I get statements in the mail telling me about the money that's waiting for me when I'm old enough to stop moving. I listen to power point presentations telling me about retiring to an island paradise or taking trips to Europe.
In the meantime, I'm happy if I remember to pack a lunch the night before.
Written as part of the On the Warpath Women 31-day Native Women's Writing Challenge.
Today's prompt was: "Plan ahead, make a list of things you'd like to accomplish in the next ten years."